NghiSn ciiu<br />
Gia dtinh vii Gidi<br />
S6 5 -2012<br />
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Cdch lifng xur cua tre vj ihdnh nien do) v6l cha m@ trong<br />
qud trinh giao tiep: phdn tich tir mot khao sat thirc dja<br />
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Trirong Thj Thu Thuy, Trln Thj Thanh Loan<br />
Vien Gia dmh vd Gidi<br />
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Tom t^t: Bai vie't phSn tfch thUc trang cdch iJtng xii cua tre vi<br />
thdnh nien doi vdi cha me minh qua cu6c khao sat nho tai Bflc<br />
Ninh. K§'t qua phan tich cho thfi'y h^u h§'t tre vi thanh nien dUdc<br />
phong van co mot mo hinh iing xii chung la vang Idi bo me,<br />
phuong thiJc giao tiep mot chieu til bo' me den con cai vin la pho<br />
bien Tuy nhifin, trong boi canh xa hoi hien dai, khong chi ban<br />
than tre vi thanh nien, ma chinh gia dinh co tre vi thanh nien<br />
cung dang phai trai qua giai doan thach thiic: thieu hut trong<br />
ki^n thiic, nhan thiic cua cac bSic cha me ve tam sinh Iy liia tuoi<br />
vi thanh nien, khoang each th^ hfi, quj thdi gian it oi danh cho<br />
con cai, nhu c^u boi dSp kie'n thiic vd kJ nSng song cua tre vi<br />
thanh nien, nhu cau thfi' hien tu duy doc lap cua tre vi thanh<br />
nifin,... Hi^u nhflng suy nghi, mong muo'n cua tre co thfi' giiip Ikm<br />
giam mau thuin va xung dot vfi' loi sShg, suy nghi, hanh vi, gia<br />
tri vk ve ca niem tin giiia tre vi th&nh nifin vk cac bSc cha me,<br />
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Tii khoa: Vi thanh nien; TJTng xii cua tre vi thanh nien; Quan he<br />
cha me con cai; Gia dinh<br />
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1. Gidi thieu<br />
Phan u'ch v^ "cai tOi" ciia tre Vifit Nam, D6 Long cho rang mOt diJa Ire<br />
Viet Nam vira m6i ra ddi la da b ngay trong pham vi giao tiep khep kin vd'n<br />
76 NghlAn cijru Gia dlnh vk Oidt. Quyin 22, s«>6, tr. 77-87<br />
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mang nflng quan h0 huytft thrfng, n6 dm;c gi^o due tCr khi tftp nbi d^ tir<br />
ximg minh v& gpi nguM khdc bfing vj irl vk vai m^ n6 c6 trong quan he<br />
tirong dtig. DSng sau nh&ng vj trf vk vai xung hd ciia diia tre 1^ nhihig quy<br />
t k , quy phym cDa h^nh vi ihig xix vfln hrta tucjng iJng. nghia \k. trong giao<br />
titfp vdi nhOng thSnh vifin trong gia dlnh cung nhir ngoii hg h&ng, diia ir6<br />
d6 phAi ling xii diing v6i vj ih^ da du^c quy djnh trong quan hfi vdi cdc dtfi<br />
tirpng "ngoiii n6". Ki ck trong cdc m5i quan he giao tififp xa hOi ihl ngirdi<br />
Vi$l vfin thudng Iflfy danh i£r chl quan h$ hp hing nhu c6, chii, bdc,.. d^<br />
thay cho d^i lir nhfln xung - mO thiic iing x^ trong gia dinh dupc md rdng<br />
dtfn pham vi to&n xS hpi nky da dupc trao truyfin lu nhifin cho diia trd. Nhu<br />
vfiy, "cdi tdi" cOa diia trd bj tan bitfn vko cdc quan hfi huytft thdng, quan hfi<br />
xd hpi, nfin bi che khutft vk lu md di, ft khi chiing bpc Id t^t cd ban sfic cua<br />
chfnh minh. Ngiy nay. diia tr^ Vifit Nam da cd xu hudng tu chu. lu lap, tu<br />
tin, ddm tu th^ hi^n minh, tu khdng dinh minh trong tu duy va trong hdnh<br />
ddng, dd Id nhihig dflu hifiu cOa mdt chu th^ cd ^ thiic cao hon v^ "cdi tdi"<br />
ban than minh so vdi truy6n Ihdng (Dd Long. 2001).<br />
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Vi thdnh nifin Id mdt giai doan khdc bifit v^ tflm sinh 1^ trong qud u-inh<br />
phdt tri^n cua mdt diia tre d^ trd thdnh mdt ngudn Idn trudng thdnh. Wi mat<br />
tflm ly, chdng cd nhung thay ddi thdt thu£mg, dfi vui, di budn, dfi n6i loan.<br />
di roi vdo trang thdi cd dem. sdu mudn vd cd, dfi bi tdc ddng bcri cdc nhdn<br />
td bfin ngodi, ndi chung Id di rdi loan cam xilc khi gap phai nhQng vudng<br />
mflc trong qud trinh giao tifi'p vdi ngubi khdc. Vfly didu g] dang xay ra<br />
trong tucmg tdc giiia cha me vd U^ vi thdnh nifin hifin nay? Bdi vift dudi<br />
ddy phan tfch thuc U^ng cdch iing xit ciia irc vi thdnh nifin dd'i vdi cha me<br />
minh qua cudc khao sdt thuc dja trong pham vi d^ tdi cdp Bd nam 2011-<br />
2012 cua phdng Nghifin cihi vi Tre em. Vifin Gia dmh vd Gidi. Tu lifiu<br />
phan tfch Id ndi dung 12 cudc phdng vdn sdu vd 8 thao ludn nhdm tre vi<br />
thdnh nifin b mdt phudng vd mdt xa cua tinh Bflc Ninh.<br />
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2. Lfng xuT cua tri vj thanh nien trong giao tiep vdi cha me<br />
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Thuc trang<br />
Giao tifip mdt chidu cha me - con cdi Id xu hudng ndi bdt trong khao<br />
sdt thuc te' ndy. Vflng Idi cha me da trd thdnh chudn muc ihig \ii cua mdt<br />
ngudi con ngoan trong lu duy cua tih vi thdnh nifin. Vdi c h u ^ muc da<br />
dupc xa hdi hda mdt cdch tu nhifin vdo suy nghT vd nhfln thiic ciia tre tCr<br />
ta'm bfi, da phdn cdc tre vi thdnh nifin diu rat sp mang cdi tifi'ng "con hu",<br />
mac dCi trong nhi^u trudng hpp, ban thdn tre khdng ddng y, khdng tan<br />
thdnh. khdng thfch thii, tham chi ca khi thd'y cha me ndi khdng diing thi<br />
tre vdn nghe Idi cha me.<br />
TrUdng Thj Thu Thuy & Trfin Thj Tiianh Loan 79<br />
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H: C^c em dfnh f}ghJa \h§ ndo /d m^t ngt/di con ngoan?<br />
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TL: Con ngoan Id tCr lOc minh bifit suy nghT khflng 6i bfi m? bufln vi minh, B6 m?<br />
bdo gi thl nghe.<br />
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TL: Ngudi con ngoan Id ngirdri tflt, bidt quan tdm mpi ngirffi, chdm chf. Id ngudi tfit<br />
trong xd hfli.<br />
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TL: Phdi bIdt yfiu thuang btf me, khi b(S me bufln ndn chia sd cCing, vd khi bfi m?<br />
mdng minh thi khflng ndn gidn dfii, vl bfi m? chf mufin tfit cho minh thfli, cfi gdng<br />
hpc tdp d^ theo nguy§n vpng cOa bfi me.<br />
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(TLN nam vi thdnh nl6n, phudng Kinh Bdc, thdnh phfl Bdc Ninh)<br />
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H: Nhimg lOc b6m^ khdng dOng thi ldm thSndo?<br />
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TL Thi chju thfli vi bfi me Idn tudi hon minh, bfi me cfl kinh nghidm ndn lufln nghT<br />
Id minh dung.<br />
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(TLN nff vj thdnh nidn, xS Kim Chdn, Bac Ninh)<br />
Quan nifim phdn Idm con phai nghe Idi cha me, cha me lam gi cung chi<br />
vl mud'n td't dep cho con cdi, tr^ con chua bifit di^u gl tdt/xdu cho minh,..<br />
hiu nhu da ddp tat nhiing phdn iing y^u dl cua iri vi thanh nien trudc<br />
nhihig mdu thudn trong giao tie'p vdi cha me.<br />
H: Khi minh co m$u thuSn v(W b6 me, phan iing cOa minh thS nao?<br />
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TL: Vdn cai lai nhung chd Idm gi fiupc. Cai khflng dupc Jal Idn glucmg ngoi.<br />
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TL: Tiic mudn khoe, v§n phdi nghe Icfi bfi me. Nghi bfi me khflng hl^u minh.<br />
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H: Sau do c6 trao dSi lai vdi b6 me khdng?<br />
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TL: Minh phai chju thfll, minh Id con chd Idm gi duoc, bfi me nghT bfi me Idn nhldu<br />
kinh nghifim thl nfll minh phdi nghe. Mufin bfi me hi^u minh bfi me cung khflng<br />
nghe, minh khflng bifit Idm thfi ndo.<br />
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(TLN nif vj thdnh nifin, xa Kim Chan, Bac Ninh)<br />
Tre vi thanh nifin cd nhu cdu chia se tam tu rdt Idn, nhu cdu nay xudt<br />
hifin b hdu het cac chii dfi hpc tap. vui choi, sd Ihich, each dn mac. sinh ly<br />
Ilia tudi, sinh hoat gia dinh. v.v.. Tuy nhifin, d mdi chu d^. each iing xii cua<br />
tre vi thanh nifin vdi ndi dung trao d6i, chla se hay phuong phdp giao tifi'p<br />
cua cha me lai khdc nhau.<br />
Thai dp chflp nhdn, lin tudng va ldm theo y kifin cua cha me cua tre vi<br />
thanh nien th^ hien kha ro rfit xung quanh cdc vdn d^ trong hpc tap. Cung<br />
CO mflu thudn xay ra trong qua trinh giao tie'p giu'a cha me va tre d chu d^<br />
ndy, song vl hdu hfi't cac em y thiic dupc mong mud'n cua cha me mud'n<br />
80 Nghltn cUu Qia dtnh v i Oldl. Quytfn 22. sA' 5, tr. 77-87<br />
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con cdi hpc gidi di thi dd dai hpc. cd cdng vi$c dn dinh. "hpc d^ dm vdo<br />
thfln", nhifiu cm vdng Idi vd hfi lire hpc t^p d^ ddp iing ky vpng ciia cha<br />
mc, vl sp cha m? budn Idng; chfnh vl ihtf, nhttng mflu thudn ntfu cd xay ra<br />
thudng dupc hda gidi nhanh chdng vd ft d^ lai su dm tic trong Idng tre vj<br />
thdnh nifin.<br />
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H.VShQc h6nh chOng ta nghe Idl khuySn td ai?<br />
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Tdt cd: Bfi m?.<br />
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TL: VI bfi m? sinh ra minh mongfildutfit cho minh. Ban bd c6 ban tfit o6 b^n khflng tfiL<br />
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TL: Hpc tfit 6i Idn Idn cfl cflng dn vide Idm.<br />
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TL: Hpc i i dm vdo thdn.<br />
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(TLN na vi thdnh mdn. xd Kim Chdn, Bdc Ninh)<br />
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Su phdn khdng 6 tr^ xud't hifin nhi^u hon trong qud trinh ih^ hifin nhu<br />
cdu vui choi gidi tri. tinh cdm cd nhdn. cdch fln mflc/hlnh ihiic b^ ngodi<br />
(nhu nhudm tdc. cat tdc theo mdt. trang jAuc, trang di^m...). Dac biet. khi<br />
nay sinh tinh cam vdi ngudi khdc gidi hoflc khi cd su tdn thuong tinh cam<br />
cd nhdn thl phdn Idn ca nam vd nfl vi thdnh nien d^u lua chpn cdch khdng<br />
trao ddi vdi cha me.<br />
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H: C6 vSn dS gl trong cu^ s6ng chdu cim thSy khd nfl/ chuyen v(sib6m^ khdng?<br />
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TL: Khfl nfli chuydn vdi bfi mp Id vdn dd vui choi \n nfli vdn dd vui choi bfi me chdu<br />
bdo khflng dupc di choi nhldu, phdi chu tdm vdo hpc.<br />
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(PVS nam vj thdnh nidn. 14 tufii. xfl Kim Chdn, Bdc Ninh)<br />
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TL: Khi em thich m^t ngudi thi chuy^ d6 em nghT khflng tflt ndn khflng ndi. Sp<br />
mp mdng. Thudng bfi me em hay Idng di khi ndi chuyen vd tmh cam Nfli chuydn<br />
hpc tdp cua em thl bfi mp rdt Idng nghe, cfln nhihig chuydn em hoi vdn dd gi W<br />
bfi mp khflng quan tdm.<br />
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(PVS nQ vi thdnh mdn, 16 tufii. xa Kim Chdn. Bdc Ninh)<br />
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H: Cd b^n nio qui b^n nam kh6c khdng? Khi dd ch6u cd k4 vdi ai kt)dng?<br />
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TL: Khflng k^ cho ai<br />
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TL: Nfli vdi me,<br />
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TL: Thfi 16 vfli ban than nhdt<br />
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TL: Nfli vdi ban thi ban gflpy cho, khflng thi me nfli ranh con niit mui yfiu duong<br />
gl, Bdo vdi ban thfln tfit hon,<br />
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(TLN nff vi thdnh nidn, xa Kim Chdn, Bac Ninh)<br />
Trittftig Thi Thu Thuy & Trdn Thi Thanh Loan 11<br />
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Khi c(5 nhu cSu tim hidu Icie'n ihiic, nang cao nhan thiJc vi giai tfnh va<br />
sinh 1^ Ilia tufii, dfii tuong Ai tl^ chia s6 vii th6a man nhttng thac mac tuy<br />
c6 huAig vi cha me, song ban b* vh internet v4n chiSm mi the'hon!<br />
H: Cd lin nio minh hdi vSn dili nhi ti6mf khdng trim klidng? NSuli/llm hiiu<br />
thi chiu tim hi4u d ^§u?<br />
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TL: ChSu cht h6i mst siS vi viSc hpc hanh, vi^c gia dinh cUn vif c li nhj chSu l\f<br />
lim tOi iSy, khing dSm hdi han bS me vi thii nhSt chSu ngai, Ihii hai tam sinh iy cSa<br />
minh Ichfing tigt \6 di/pc,<br />
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TL: ChSu tim hi^u d sach b4o hay hS thSng inlenel 6 nha anh chau, nha chSu kinh<br />
t^ kam nan chua mua duoc, chl dll nufti anh em chau hgc thoi.<br />
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TL: Chau thudng trao ddi vi» nguOi ban than nhSt Chau khSng dam tam su vai b5<br />
me vi ap luc trong cing viSc cua bO me chau da nhilu, nSu nOi v l Sp luc cOa minh<br />
S ngoai nita bi me chau se thSy ap luc nang hon nan chau khOng k l<br />
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(PVS nam vj thanh nian, 17 ludi, xa Kim Chan, Bac Ninh)<br />
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TL Chac la internet va ban ba cO anh hucfng nhigu hon so vOi bd me. Vi thOng tin<br />
Iran intemet c6 nhidu didu hap d§n va thu hot trd con hon bd me. Bd me thudng chl<br />
ndi nhOng didu gian dj, cOn ban be thi an mac, choi bdi thu hut hon, hap din hon,<br />
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(PVS nif vj thanh nian, 16 ludi, xa Kim Chan, Bac Ninh)<br />
Thuc trang trfin da dugc nhidu nghiSn ciiu Ichac tdng Icet. Vi du nhu<br />
u-ong Didu tra Qufic gia ve Vi thanh nien va Thanh niSn Viet Nam Idn thii<br />
2 nam 2009 (SAVY 2), cac dii lieu phan tfch cho thiy 6 cac chi dd: tufii<br />
day thi, Icinh nguyet. mfing linh, mang thai hay KHHGD va cac bien phap<br />
tranh thai, tinh due, tinh yeu va hfin nhan thl vi thanh nien va thanh nien<br />
nghe nhidu nha't tCt tivi, tie'p dd la 20% nghe ttr radio, 10% til sach/bao hay<br />
intemet. Chii y la ty Ie thanh thidu nien bidt thfing tin vd tinh due tir inter-<br />
net cao hon han ty Ie bidt vd 4 chi dd cdn lai qua intemet (Tfing cue Dan<br />
sd-KHHGD va cac co quan khac, 2010: 119). Viec tre vi thanh nien tfch<br />
cue thu thap cac thfing lin vd siic ichoe sinh san, cdc kie'n thiic ve tinh due<br />
tren cac phuong tien thfing tin dai chiing cfin thd hien mfii lien he ydu giOa<br />
cha me va con cai, cung nhu vai trd mfi nhat cia gia dlnh trong viec giao<br />
due vi thanh nien nhQng ky nang c^n thidt trong Ilnh vuc nay.<br />
Hoac nhu kdt qua phan tich sfi Ueu didu u-a Gia dinh Viet Nam 2006<br />
cho thdy, dfii vfii nhom tre tir 15 ddn 17 tufii, ban be van la dfii tuong chfnh<br />
de chiing tim ddn tam sir vd chuyen yeu duong, con cac bac cha me noi<br />
chung gitt vj trf kha khiem tfi'n trong su tin cay cua con: ''nhin chung, con<br />
cai thucmg chon ban be la ngufii tam sir, chidm 63,4% ngufii tra Icri, tidp<br />
8C NghlAn cdru QIa dlnh vd 0161. Quyin 22, ttf 5, tr. 77-87<br />
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theo td nguiri ihdn trong gia dlnh 8,4%. rdi dtfn me 7.7% vd cutfi cCing Id<br />
cha vdi i;^ 1$ rdt thdp 1.3%... NguM m? b nhOng gia dlnh thdnh thi, c6 mac<br />
stfng cao hon thudng Id ngu&i dU(;ft: con chpn d^ ldm su. Ngui^c lai, ngu&i<br />
cha 6 n&ng ihdn vd b nhChig gia dlnh c6 miJc stfng thdp hon lai duoc con<br />
cdi tin tu6ng hon. mdc d£i v6\ t^ 1? rtfl ihtfp" (Trdn Thj Vdn Anh vd c^ng<br />
si;. 2011:23-24).<br />
Nguydn nhdn<br />
Nhffng nguyfin nhdn ddn dtfn thuc irang trfin d9 du^c cdc nhd nghifin<br />
cihi d^ cap dtfn. vf du nhu su cdch bi^l thtf hfi, mdu thudn gitta khd ning<br />
ciia lr6 vj thdnh nifin vdi k^ vpng cua cha me, cha mc vd ilnh hay ctf ^ ha<br />
thdp 16ng lu irpng ciia tr6 bAng l&i n6i. hdnh ddng... (Phan Thi Mai Huong<br />
chu bifin, 2(X)7). Hodc vdi mdi chO dfi cu th^ Id siic khde sinh san vd tinh<br />
due tutfi vj thdnh nifin thl nhu trong mdi nghifin cihi vfi phu nfl vd gia dinh<br />
dd cho rdng: da .s6 cdc bdc phu huynh hifin nay su hi^u bi^l vi gidi Unh vd<br />
tinh due cQng h^t sflc ngh^o ndn... vd vdi con chdu, cdc bdc cha me lai<br />
cdng khdng bao gid dd ddng dfi'n chuyfin ilnh due vl nhu thtf Id "vg dudng<br />
cho huou chay", "vdn di cdm ky trong gido due gia dlnh" (Nguyfin Linh<br />
Khitfu. 2003).<br />
<br />
DDc kfi't tfl tu lifiu phdng vdn ci^a khao sdt ndy thdy bdt Ifin mdt thuc tfi<br />
rdng: da stf ede bdc cha me dang bfif ldc vfi phuong phdp gido due dtfi vdi<br />
nhflng dfla con trong dd tutfi "lii con khdng ra U^ eon, ngu£n Idn chua<br />
thdnh nguCrt Idn" nay. Hon nfla, irong mdt stf chu di giao tifi'p. cdc bdc cha<br />
me it tao dupc su tin tudng noi ire khi gidi thich/giai quytft vdn dfi cflng tre.<br />
khifi^n tr6 khdng "ldm phuc khdu phuc" vd d&n dfi'n thdi dd phan khdng dtfi<br />
vdi Idi ndi. hdnh vi, thdi dd cua cha me. hodc tre se di tim ddl tupng khdc d^<br />
tdm su vi vdn dfi cua ban thdn. Nhflng cdch flng xfl trfin cua ire cd nguyfin<br />
nhdn do nhifiu bdc cha me vdn hi^u khd chung chung vi tdm 1^ Ifla tutfi vj<br />
Ihdnh nifin; cdch thflc ndi chuyfin cua cha me thudng difin ra theo ki^u dp<br />
dat, mfinh Ifinh. giai thfch khdng Ihd'u ddo, can ke; cd thdi dd "phu ddu" khi<br />
con cdi di cdp dfi'n chuyfin yfiu duong; su lang Irdnh cua cdc bdc cha me v^<br />
cdc vflji dfi dupc coi Id tfi' nhi. hode khdng cd sir chu ddng "ddn ddu" md<br />
thudng td khi ire hoi thl cha me mu QIa dlnh v l GIdl, Quyjn 22, .6' 5, Ir. 77-B7<br />
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m?); cfi trd nhfin Ihi^c ducjfc r&ng "mufin bfimc hidu minh thl minh nen hidu<br />
btf m? nhidu hon, ndu minh Ithfing hidu bfi me thl bfi m? cung khfing thd<br />
hidu dupc minh, minh ndn quan tfim ddn bfi m? nhidu hon" (PVS nS vi<br />
thfinh nien. 16 tufii, xi Kim Chdn, B^c Ninh): Ihfim chf cfi t r i suy nghi rSl<br />
chQng chac: "Bfi me ndn bidt suy xdt, con cdi ndn thfing cam vfii btf me,<br />
mtfi ngufii nhufing nhin nhau mfit fl. Con cfii cfi Ifim v i ^ sai btf me nen<br />
suy xdt xem nguydn nhfin tai sao ntf lai Ifim nhu IhC. Vf du con cfii ddnh<br />
nhau l(hfing thd ti; nhien nd ddnh nhau din;ic. phfii cfi nhidu nguyen nhfin.<br />
Ndu dtJa ddy ddnh con minh tiatfic mfi nfi mufin nfii vfii bfi me, nfi ngai<br />
dfinh tir xCr thfii. Bfi m? hay bdo mfiy nghjch ngcm, nghe chung nfi xili, lilc<br />
dfi con cdi biic xdc, nfi cfii, mfi cfii bfi me lai dang buc minh ndn chac chfin<br />
sc iihfing bao gifi nghe nfi. N«n dd sau mfit Ihfii gian sd giai quydt" {PVS<br />
ntt vj thfinh nidn, 14 tufii, phufing Kinh Bdc. thfinh phfi Bac Ninh).<br />
Thfing didp mfi hfiu hdt trd vj thfinh ni4n irong cufie khao sfit nfiy mufin<br />
giri gdm qua cfic cfich ling phfi trdn Ifi cfic bfic cha me hay Ifin iipng vfi ldng<br />
nghe J kidn/lfim sir ciia trd, cfi kidn ihiic dd hidu tfim \f Ire hon, dfinh thfii<br />
gian dd chia se vfi phfin Ifch IhSu dfio cfic vin dd trd mutfn llm hidu, nhu<br />
vfiy, cha me cfi Ihd trd thfinh "ngufii ban Ifin" dfing lin cfiy dtfi vfii tre.<br />
TL: Ndu cha me Ifi nhOng ngutf ban cOa em thi em se Ifim sir duoc nhidu hon, ndi<br />
that I6ng hon. Em sd thdy Ihofii mfii hon vfi cudc sdng y nghia hon.<br />
(PVS no vj thfinh nifin, 16 tudi, xd Kim Chfin, Bdc Ninh)<br />
TL: Bd me nfin ldng nghe.<br />
TL; Bd me nfin dfit vfio hofin cdnh cOa minh dd suy nghi.<br />
TL: Bd me nfin tim hidu thfing tn vd dfic didm vd ludi nfiy.<br />
TL: ThuOng xuyfin chia sd viji minh.<br />
TL: Mudn bd m? em hidu dOng hon, aung tido vfi minh nhu minh bd lam, IXS me cdn<br />
nghT minh lOn rdi, dd cho minh tu do theo y cua minh, khOng nfin cdm dofin qufi.<br />
TL: Em mong mudn bd me em quan tfim ddn em hon. Bd me chttolam vific. Dfinh<br />
cho em nhidu thOi gian hon.<br />
TL:Khiconc4ivabdmecdy kidn khfic nhau, bd me nfin phfin tich cho chung em<br />
hidu chij khfing nfin dp dfit.<br />
<br />
(TLN nil vi thfinh nifin, xa Kim Chfin, Bac Ninh)<br />
Ngay ca trong vfin dd nhay cam Ifi giao due gidi tinh, khi cac sfi lieu<br />
thfing kS cho tha'y u-e thuong llm ddn cdc dfii tuong khac nhu ban be, tivi,<br />
intemet (Tfing ciic Dfin sfi'-KHHGD va cac co quan khac, 2010), ngliia Ifi<br />
Tri^rfng Thj Thu Thuy & Trfin Thj Thanh Loan 85<br />
<br />
ttfn tai mdt spi day giao tifi'p md nhai giiia cha m? vd con cdi. Vfi v&n di<br />
ndy thl tii vi thdnh nifin vdn cd mong mutfn cha me trd thdnh didm tim<br />
hi^u ddu tifin, mutfn cha me cdi md han, idm 1^ hem di chdng cd thtf htft e<br />
ngai vd lo sp khi gidi bdy nhQng ban khoan khd ndi ciia minh.<br />
H: Kjgfi (hiJt cua b6 m? cung cSp c/io minh vS gidn tinh so via m^ng th! d ddu t6t han?<br />
<br />
Tdt cd: lit btf me vdn ttft hon.<br />
<br />
TL: Vi btf me sd t§n tinh chi bdo minh hon c6n Irdn mang chl n6i so so thdi.<br />
<br />
H: Cd khi ndo minh cim th&y kiSn thdc b^n bd treo d6i bi sai khdng?<br />
<br />
TL: Chdc Id c6. Nhimg md sai hay khflng thl khflng bidt.<br />
<br />
(TLN nd vi thdnh nifin. xd Kim Chdn, Bdc Ninh)<br />
Dang tifi'c Id vific gido due tinh due. siJc khoe sinh san trong gia dlnh<br />
hifin nay gap khd khdn do nhifiu nguyfin nhdn: "Mdi mat. md'i giao tifi^p ndy<br />
bj han chtf bdi cam gidc xdu htf hay sudfi dat uong giao titfp eiia ca hai phia<br />
trong vific ndi chuyfin vfi tinh due. Mat khdc. dudng nhu nd cd xu hudng<br />
ngay cang phdt tritfn vd ecri md hon bcri su bOng ntf thdng tin lifin quan dtfn<br />
tinh due. hodc nhiing hinh anh thue itf vfi cac hdu qua c6a hoat ddng tinh<br />
due trfin cac phuong lifin thdng tin dai chiing. hay trong cdng dtfng... Hon<br />
nfla, cho du nhu cdu gido due tinh due, siic khoe sinh san ed tang Ifin d mdt<br />
bfl phan btf me, nhung su tang Ifin nay bi han chtf Wri ytfu ttf kitfn thiic eua<br />
ho, cae bac bo me cho rdng ndi chuyfin v^ tinh due se khuytfn khich cac em<br />
sdm cd quan hfi tinh due, va su ihitfu kifi^n thiic ciaa btf me vi vdn de nay la<br />
nhiing rao can lam han chfi'miic dd va chi^u sau trong giao tifi'p" (Trinh Van<br />
Tliang, 2004. Ddn lai lu Dang Bi'eh Thuy, 2011).<br />
<br />
3. Ket luan<br />
<br />
Cupc khao sdt lai Bdc Ninh cho thdy phai chang ed biic tudng vd hinh<br />
da nay sinh tir ehi'nh su khdng ddp iing dupc mong mutfn. ky vpng v^ nhan<br />
thiic, thai dd, hanh vi giiia cha me vdi ire vj thanh nifin trong xa hdi hifin dai<br />
nay? Cha me dat nhitfu hy vpng, mong udc vdo con cai, ngupe lai, tre vj<br />
thanh nifin cung udc mutfn nhi^u di^u lit phfa cha me minh; nhung giiia hai<br />
t>Sn lai cd ft difi'm giao nhau, khdng dfi tim dupc sir chia se, thdng cam va<br />
i^dng cam vdi nhau, vi vay, mau thuin va xung ddt la khdng th^ uanh khdi.<br />
Hdu hfi't tre vi thdnh nifin f thiic dupc nhu thfi' nao Id ngudi eon ngoan,<br />
song tre cung mong mud'n dupc khang dinh "cai tdi" ban th^ va dupc cha<br />
me ihfira nhan. Difiu nay gay nfin mdu thuin trong chfnh suy nghi va hanh<br />
•^ong cua tre. Tre dupc day rdng cai lai cha me Id hu, nhung uong vd van<br />
e« NghfAn cUu Ola dlnh v* GIdl. QuyJn 22, stf 5, tr. 77-87<br />
<br />
<br />
cdc Ilnh hud'ng giao titfp thudng ngdy xdy ra, tre vdn cdi d^ khang dinh cdi<br />
" I f cOa minh, vd dudng nhu, phdn Idn nhQng diia tr^ vj thdnh nifin se vdn<br />
phdi chiu Ihua uy quy^n cua cha me bdi quan nifim "cd khdng dn mutfi cd<br />
uon. con cdi cha m? irflm dudng con hu"!<br />
Nhu vdy, vdn dfi d ddy Id Idm sao d^ cha me vd eon cdi lim dupc nhi^u<br />
didm giao ihoa. cOng chia ai dupe nhifiu gid trj vd muc dfch stfng md vdn<br />
tdn trpng "cdi Idi" cOa phfa bfin kia?.<br />
Tinh uang cdc b^c cha m? "coi thudng" khd ndng nhdn ihiie eiJa tie,<br />
eho rdng trS vj thdnh nifin vdn Id lr& eon khdng bifi'l gl u-ong cdc vdn di xa<br />
hdi vd cutfc stfng gia dlnh, ddc bifil Id thdi dtf ldng trdnh hodc giai Ihi'ch<br />
khdng ddng, khdng ihdu ddo nhQng vdn dfi trong gido due gidi tfnh. tinh<br />
due vd siic khde sinh sdn Id mdt sai ldm vdn dang litfp didn. Nhifiu cudn<br />
sdch cd y nghTa gido due eao dupe xudi ban. cdc hdi thao, chuyfin dfi vi<br />
chu di ndy dupc ttf ehiic song da dO ddp ting nhu cdu cua cha me vd ue vj<br />
thdnh nifin chua. hifiu qua eiJa nd nhu thtf ndo. pham vi tdc ddng cua nd<br />
dtfn ddu so vdi nhQng ngutfn thdng lin khdc ludn sdn sdng chd ddn tre lim<br />
hidu 24/24h chi vdi mdt ihao ldc click chudt mdy tfnh? Vdy ihl khi ma cdc<br />
bdc cha me vdn cdn chua xdc dinh dirpc phuong phdp gido due ciia minh<br />
nhu thtf ndo Id vCra du ldc dung "'ve dudng". ldm sao dfi khdng "ve dudng<br />
eho hupu chay sai" thl tre vj thdnh nifin khdng chd dpi dupc. chiing phai<br />
lim cdch dfi' bifi'l, dil tu chiing thdy hoang mang vfi dd lin cdy ciia thdng lin<br />
tim dupe vdn edn hon bj chfi Id "khdng bitfl gl"!<br />
Thuc ttf hifin nay khdng chi Id tifi'ng chudng bdo ddng vfi su btf tdc trong<br />
phuong phdp gido due eCia cha me ddl vdi tre vi ihdnh nifin, md cdn Id vdn<br />
dfi cdc nhu cdu llm hidu kifi'n thiie vd ky ndng sd'ng cua ue da dupc ddp<br />
ling diing vd ddy du tdi dau?B<br />
<br />
<br />
Tdi lifiu Iham khdu .<br />
Tdng cue Dan sd-KHHGD. Tflng cue Thting kc. ADB. 2010. Dieu ira qudc gia<br />
ve Vi ihdnh ni^n vd Thanh nifn \ 'let Nam iJn ihd hai.<br />
Dff lifiu phdng vdn sfiu vd thao lufln nh6m tre vi thdnh nifin. Khao sdt thuc dja ciia<br />
Dfi l^i edp Bfl phdng Nghifin cihi vfi Tre em nam 20U-20I2. thuc hifin tai Bie<br />
Ninh.<br />
Dfl Long. 2011. Su hinh ihknh "cdi tdi" d ire Viet Nam dudi tac dflng ciia van hda.<br />
Trong: Tie em. van hda. gido due. Ky yfi'u Hfli thao Viet - Phap vi iSm IJ<br />
hoc. Odette Lescarret. Le Khanh & H.Ricaud ddng chu bien. 2001. Nxb.Thfi<br />
gidi. Hd Nfli.<br />
Nguyen Linh Khifi'u. 2003. Nghien ciiu phu nd gidi vd gia dtnh. Nxh Khoa hoc<br />
TrUdng THJ Thu Thuy & Trfin Thj Thanh Loan 87<br />
<br />
Xa hfli. Hd Nfli.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
r<br />
Phan Thi Mai Hucfng chii bifin. 2007. Cdch I'fng phd ciia ire v/ thdnh niin vdi<br />
hodn cdnh khd khdn. NxU KHXH. Hd Nfli.<br />
Sn TTii van Anh. Nguyfin HOu Minh vd Hd Thj Minh Khuong. 20U. "Quan h?<br />
cha me vd con cdi chira trudng thdnh". TYong: Bd Vftn hfla. Thd thao vd Du<br />
lich. Vifin Gia dinh vi Gidi. UNICEF Vi^t Nam. 2011. Cdc md'i quan hi<br />
trong gia dinh Viil Nam (M^l sd kit qud phdn tich sdu Dieu tra Gia dinh<br />
Viil Nam 2006.<br />
Trinh Van Thdng. 2004. Giao tifi'p gida bfl' m? vd vj thdnh nien vfi linh due; Nfli<br />
dung, rdo cdn vd nhflng d^ng co giao tifip. Nxb Y hpc. Hil NOi. Trfch lai t£r<br />
Dang Etch Thuy. 2011. Thuyi't minh D4 idi cdp Bd ndm 2011-2012: Md'i<br />
quan hi cha me - con cdi v/ ihdnk niin giai doan 2011-2020: Nhung vd'n d^<br />
cdn quan ldm.<br />